Our WTF! Years

WTF is with this ceasefire? WTF is with Melania?

Last Tuesday the world was on the brink. Trump threatened to bomb Iran back into the “stone age” if the Strait of Hormuz remained shut. Trump had neither reason nor objective when he started this war, but with the global economy in crisis he had found both in opening the Strait of Hormuz (which, as critics satirically point out, had been closed since the 1979 Iranian Revolution).

Trump demanded that NATO go open the Strait of Hormuz because America did not need Middle East energy, while Europe did. The Europeans are too co-opted to point out that if America had not sanctioned Russian energy and had not killed Iran’s supreme leader Europe’s economy would not face ruin. Trump’s Secretary of State Marco Rubio threatened to exit NATO because it was not a reliable ally.

Still not dizzy enough? The world expected Trump to do a TACO Tuesday, and so Trump decided to surrender unconditionally. He said that he would accept Iran’s 10-point plan (which included lifting all economic sanctions, acknowledging Iran’s sovereignty over the Strait of Hormuz, and providing security guarantees to Iran and its regional proxies) as the framework for a permanent peace. Trump unfroze $6 billion in Iranian assets, and sent JD Vance as his emissary to Pakistan for peace talks.

As the world celebrated at the prospect of peace in our time, the Israelis launched one hundred air-strikes in Lebanon, killing over two hundred. The Iranians had agreed to open the Strait of Hormuz, but claimed they had laid naval mines, and forgotten where. It seemed both sides were trolling each other, and Iran had agreed to talks at the insistence of China, Iran’s largest customer who depended on half of its oil exports from the Middle East. Afraid that the Israelis would blow up their negotiating team, Iran sent three planes to Pakistan, with two acting as decoys.

Yesterday, Melania Trump summoned the White House press corps to announce that she had no relationship with Jeffrey Epstein (something no one was concerned about with her husband threatening to destroy human civilization), and that Epstein’s victims should be allowed to testify before Congress.

Like most people, this is the first time I’ve heard Mrs. Trump speak, and it was jarring to hear such a shrill and high-pitch voice. I remember hearing Jared Kushner speak for the first time denying the Russia-gate allegations, and found it equally jarring to hear such a shrill and high-pitch voice. The difference between the two was that Kushner was forced to respond, while Mrs. Trump volunteered for the spotlight, which was unusual for her.